Shhh...I'm trying to google stuff.: Archive

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I really think there is something liberating about having no friends. I feel freer than I’ve ever felt before. There’s just me and my thoughts to worry about. Oh, is that all? Extract from my diary, age 16.

Mar 14th

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Woody Allen: 'My wife hasn't seen most of my... →

“Yes, yes, she’s never taken me seriously really. And to this day – you know I just left her now – she sees me as a complainer, a hypochondriac, a kind of idiot savant. She thinks that I’m very good at what I do and absolutely terrible at everything else. And she’s probably not far off. You know, it’s that kind of relationship. She’s not someone who...

Mar 13th

Four in ten of us can't stand next door's pet |... →

I once lived next door to a very snooty cat that refused to become my friend.

Mar 10th

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Perhaps I was placed in the wrong decade. Perhaps I’m some kind of an eccentric who everybody just humours and will become more estranged as time goes on. God if I’m like this at 14. Shit! Extract from my old diary, 1990.

Mar 9th

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Mar 9th

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I never thought Margaret Thatcher would actually resign. I mean she’s certainly not the quitting type. I think it’s obvious that she’d been pressurised. I wonder if her and Dennis still make love, I suppose it’s virtually impossible on 3 hours of sleep a night. At least she’ll have more time now. Extract from my diary, age 16.

Mar 6th

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Mar 6th

The 10 best male fashion icons - in pictures |... →

His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie was the Emperor of Ethiopia from 1930 to 1974. In fact, his full title was His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah and Elect of God. He was also, at the time of his reign, the most bemedalled ruler in the world. Befitting for someone who could trace his ancestry back to King Solomon, Selassie...

Mar 6th

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Last night, I went to a bar with a friend and noticed how many people in the bar were playing with/looking at their mobile phones, despite being surrounded by other people. There were a couple of guys sat together who spent all their time passing a mobile phone back and forth between them so they could look at whatever message/photo/application they were using as a substitute for conversation....

Mar 6th

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We now have our Christmas tree up. I’m sure it was taller last year, perhaps I’ve grown, god I hope so. Sinead O’Connor is about my height, I suppose that’s some consolation, but she looks taller. It must be her ‘attitude’. I wish I was tall. Destined to live my life as a small person. Tragedy. From my diary, age 15. I’m still working on having enough...

Mar 6th

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Museum of Broken Relationships →

dxdy: I thought this was a joke at first, or perhaps an internet gag. But no, this museum actually physically exists. Sadly, it is in Croatia, so it doesn’t seem like I’ll get a chance to visit anytime soon. Dedicating a museum to failed love is an interesting concept. I liked reading the stories behind some of the items on display, for example, a box made of matches and containing an old...

Mar 6th

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We spent most of today playing ‘spin the bottle’. We started off kissing on the cheek but it got a bit boring so we started kissing on the mouth. Today I have kissed on the mouth Taroon, Lee, Michael, Aadil, David and Scott. My diary, age 13.

Mar 5th

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We had this boring Wind Quintet come into school and give us a concert. I was eating sweets all the way through it. Extract from old diary, age 12. My philistinism obviously started quite early.

Mar 5th

“I particularly like giving books to my literary granddaughter, who is going to...”

– The great books giveaway | Books | The Guardian Enjoyed reading about which books writers would give as gifts and which books they’ve been most pleased to receive. I wish AS Byatt was my grandmother and bought me books. I have bought the following books for friends, family and lovers: The...

Mar 4th

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Shit! I have to go to the hairdresser this week. If there’s one thing I hate more than the dentist it’s the hairdresser. It’s up there with famine and vomit. My diary, age 15.

Mar 4th

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Mar 4th

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I feel awful when somebody asks me what book I’m reading and it’s a Sweet Valley High or a book like that and they go “Oh a soppy book”. It makes me feel really awful. I shouldn’t have to feel like that. From my diary, age 12.

Mar 4th

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Mar 3rd

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When I’m 19 a number of things could have happened. I could have been dead five years in a car crash and that means I would have died when I was 14, only two years away. Or I could be dying of AIDS or I could be married with kids being a housewife and a complete nobody. Or I could be a famous journalist or presenter or a famous actress and a teen sex symbol going out with Jason Donovan and...

Mar 3rd

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Mar 3rd

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When I get to school tomorrow I’m gonna act tougher and meaner and nobody’s going to tell me what to do or I’ll smack them in the face. Okay! Extract from my diary, age 12.

Mar 3rd

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Mar 3rd

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The car that reads out emails, Facebook and... →

I wonder if it will sound like Stephen Hawking?

Mar 3rd

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“I am a person who if left alone in someone’s home walks to the bookcase, pulls...”

– Michael Ondaatje in The English Patient (Submitted by burntauburn:) I once worked in a library where the patrons were very posh and they never simply read a book, they always inhaled or devoured them.

Mar 3rd

345 notes

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Despite all the advice about talking to children in a normal voice, I still can’t seem to stop myself from adopting a fake overly-indulgent tone. “Hellooooooo! How. Are. Yoooooooo?” I used to have very little contact with children but now I work in a public library it is no longer possible to simply ignore them. Middle class parents are so nauseatingly proud of their children...

Mar 2nd

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Mar 2nd

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Mar 2nd

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Mother smashes up cake shop in Cardiff when it ran... →

With her children beside her, she smashed glass display units and threw cupcakes at customers after being told there were no more ‘sweet tooth fairy cakes’. She even attacked members of staff in her fit of rage. Her reaction was so swift and dramatic, she did not even give staff time to tell her they could simply bake a fresh batch. I bet you don’t get this kind of behaviour...

Mar 2nd

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Mar 2nd

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Mar 2nd

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Mar 2nd

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Mar 1st

10 notes

“I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength or...”

– Kurt Vonnegut, I Love You, Madame Librarian (via mildmodern-girl) Great quote, though I take exception to the line about librarians not being “famous for their physical strength”. I am building quite a reputation in my library for the number of books I can carry at one time, stacked...

Mar 1st

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